in shock

[ttocs]

I am still a little bit in shock because I finally won my disability case with the state. I have mixed emtions about saying I am disabled becaus I am only 36 and it wasn't long ago that I was training for and racing mountain bikes and in the best shape of my life, things have changed though now... They finally agreed that someone that needs to be absent from work or his work station as much as I am would not be able to be employable. Well this will certianly make new years a little better then christmas as I was in the hospital that whole weekend.

On a side-note since I know we are 420 friendly here, I thought I was screwed because I do use maryjane now as a medicine to help these issues, I had quit for years after I decided to get serious at school and its all through my medical records because its not something I try to hide. The judge went right down into it and started questioning me about it. Ohhh fuck I was afraid it was not a good start. Do I still use it? Why do I use it? How much do I use(was he compairing to his I mean if someone had never used it what would it matter if i did an ounce every two days right?)? I answered them all, explained that a dr in az suggested it to me, of course completely off the record and it is honesty one of the few medicines I have taken(out of literaly hundreds) that either didn't make me sicker or do nothing at all. ITs not a lie and I hope he understood but maybe I am happy that I trimmed my goatee from the 6" it had grown too to a respectable lenght.....

[dwnrodeo]

Congrats on winning your case man!

[joerg]

Good to hear u finally won your case! I still hope that u find a way to get rid of the shit thats going on with your stomach.

[dvnt88]

Good to hear u finally won your case! I still hope that u find a way to get rid of the shit thats going on with your stomach.

x2

[wooferdog]

does that include up close parking

[nico boom]

Congrats man, it's not how you saw yourself living your life, but under the circumstances it's a victory for you.
I feel the need to tell you one thing;
My brother has to live his life the same way; biggest problem for him was to accept that he can [and is not allowed anymore] to work anymore and gets his money for doing nothing.... he became depressed and a alcoholic.
I hope you will accept the way your life has changed a lot sooner than he has, and that you'll be able to look at everything you still CAN DO instead of what you lost.
Best of luck man!
Nico

[Lux]

Congrats on the victory Are you going to become a trainer for mountain bike competetors now?

[ttocs]

Back when this all started I was in better shape then anyone I knew and in better shape then I had ever been in my life. At the peak of training I was doing 75 miles a week off-road-riding, cross training with swimming and weights as well. When I joined a gym to do this they did a phisical evaluation and at 28 I was 195 lbs, 11% body fat and according to their software my body was reacting as though an 18 yr olds body would. Today as sit here I am lucky when I get over 150 lbs, I rarely eat more then one, maybe two times a day because I normally just feel like crap and leaves me just generally feeling tired most of the time. If I get on the bike now even just to take the dog around the block I start to feel it. Wheelies are still fun but there is no way I will be testing my best of over a mile on the back tire.

Its strange to me that just a few years ago I was in the best shape of my life, now I am in the worst... Its amazing how fast things can change, make the most of it while you can as it could change tomorrow. I lived every day up till when I got sick, and a few days after as though I had stolen them and maybe one day things will change but after 8-9 yrs of this crap I am not holding my breath.

Not sure what I will do now. The way we filed doesn't prevent me from making money as long as we report it. I have considered investing in a larger plotter/vinyle cutter that could do full-size graphics that my little one could not but I am not sure I could do enough to make it worth wile in the end. Just trying not to spend all my money on the mustang but needless to say it will be getting the batteries and the sound damping that has been holding its stereo up.

[smgreen20]

Congrats on the win. Will there be any "Back" money coming to you? That's always a help, esp when you don't expect it.

[ttocs]

I should be getting a years back-pay, minus my lawyers 25% and the small time I was on unemployment as well but yes there should be enough of a payout to take care of bills I have got and been unable to pay. I am fairly sure there should be enough for me to get the batteries and sound damping that has been preventing me from finishing my system...

[kg1961]

glad to here!!! so how are you fealing now?

[ttocs]

I would say I take it day by day, but it is more like hour by hour. While I have been feeling better for the most part I still normally wake up to stomach pain/nauseau every day. It is less then it use to be and will often clear up faster too but I still have times/days where I do not venture far from my bathroom.

Now with it having taken almost 3 yrs to get up to this point(filed once on my own(rejected) and then got a lawyer that eventually closed the appeal so he could refile it a different/better way) I am stuck wondering how long it will take to get the benifits going?