How the fight started

[mhyde71]

showed up in email today in the warehouse...


> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
> The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> When she asked him why, he replied,
> "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
> And that's how the fight started...
______________
> I asked my wife...'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
> And that's how the fight started...
______________
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
> I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have $ex?'
> 'No,' she answered.
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
> And that's how the fight started...
______________
> I took my wife to a restaurant.
> The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> And that's how the fight started...
______________
> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.'
> And that’s how the fight started...
______________
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
> I bought her a scale..
> And that’s how the fight started...
_______________
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
> I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
> 'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
> 'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
> And that’s how the fight started...
______________
> I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
> And that’s how the fight started...

[nico boom]

Thanks Matt; you just made my day!
Gonna try the fourth one this weekend.

[Rold Gold]