Phoenix Gold Phorum

I'm gonna branch off of Brian's "It's Friday..What have you learned" threads to something more festive.....


The holidays have taught me that-
1. Start shopping in march.....That way you have time to THINK of a good gift and not be rushed.
2. Never takes yer kids shopping for yer gift to the wife. They tend to spoil it by blabbing what you/they got ya.
3. As much of a good idea it is to giftwrap yer "junk", she's not gonna be to surprized.
4. "Let's not do anything for eachother and concentrate on the kids." means you better get me 1 good gift or I'm returning the twig and giggle-berries you plan to give me later.

I REALLY don't want to picture you doing #3....

the holidays have taught me to:

1. work more/save before they catch up to you so you can comfortably travel and have the option of buying close ones really nice presents.

2.make sure your sunroof seals up good.

3.bring a pair of freaking gloves when you go to get the tree.

Carry my .45

the holidays have taught me to never have more than one close "loved one/immediate family" in the celebration at any given time other wise every bodies life is more difficult.

-take time for Mom
-take time for Dad
-take time for GF

If you try to mix these people it is about as pleasant as chewing thumbtacks.



On another note other things I have learned recently:

Vacation- means sleep in an extra hour before going into work.

When you explain to your girlfriend on her first trip to Vegas that she needs to bring walking shoes, and you tell her emphatically that she should bring walking shoes, then you tell her that heels are really not a good idea. 10 minutes out the door and you have finally reached the strip, she wants to go back to the room because she did not understand what you meant by walking shoes and the heels she is wearing are killing her feet.

Also when in Vegas and the misses stares at you while standing next to the hotel wedding chapel, and asks so you want to get married, instead of screaming game over and running, you can calmly state "but none of our friends are here..."

You should never take the GF there unless it's to get married.....for that exact reason.

On the other side of that, Vegas might be the only place that she can fill her hollow leg with vodka and it won't melt yer credit card....

FuzzyHoNutz wrote:You should never take the GF there unless it's to get married.....for that exact reason.

On the other side of that, Vegas might be the only place that she can fill her hollow leg with vodka and it won't melt yer credit card....

She killed her share of yard long margaritas and kept on going, like the energizer bunny but instead of a battery on her back it was a smirnoff bottle and a midget with a straw.

The holidays have taught me nothing.

To use anal ease. It hurts less.



My sons Bday is Dec 3rd,
Xmas duh, Dec 25th
Wifes Bday is Dec 29th
Youngest daughters bday is Jan 12
and my oldest daughters bday is Feb 14.

I get screwed pretty good starting in Dec, so Yea, anal ease.

.......................

Sounds like yer birthday is in april..........

I'm all by myself in September.

With all those december bdays, thats alotta March sexin.....

Yet another bit learned.....

Shopping while the weather is totally fuked is the best time to go. Cuz there are less assholes in the stores.... But I'll be danmed if some of those same assholes didn't brave the weather for a starbucks fix....

FuzzyHoNutz wrote:Shopping while the weather is totally fuked is the best time to go. Cuz there are less assholes in the stores.... But I'll be danmed if some of those same assholes didn't brave the weather for a starbucks fix....

Heh, that's the worst time to go here, since that's pretty much the only thing you CAN do in this weather. The malls have been PACKED so bad that traffic is backed up on some side streets. I give up as soon as I see that... can't take the crowds. And wouldn't you know, it's staying freezing cold like this until Christmas, so it should keep getting busier and busier.

Any ideas on Christmas presents for mom/dad/brother who already have everything they want?

Booze................It's a gift that's always welcome in my house......

Speaking of Booze, the big B.

I got my father-in-law a nice 14 year old last year and he's still not enjoyed it yet. Talkin' Scotch here folks. Seems that the man who digs any label of Glen Fiddich, and a couple other main stream (pun there if you know scotch) labels won't touch something with a "weird name". Huh?

Dude, read the fucking label. It's 14 years old, it comes from Scotland, even says what creek they got the water from, map and everything.

Nope, it's "weird". "Weird name".

Crack that puppy, actually taste it. What's the worst that could happen? Apparently all his work buddies would tune in (psychic viewing style) and note that he's drinking something "weird" and he's out of the gang or something. People are fucking weird.

I like Oban 15, even more than their 18 in fact.

When I was younger, I had a Glenn Fiddich 15 year and I thought it was good... until I tried something better

well, that was my intention. what was I ?