I need a place to put this, so I figured I would share with you guys.  My mother is one funny woman and always seems to have something profound to say every time I see her.  Some would say that she is a little off of her rocker, I say that she is just my mom.  I have been telling my G/F for a long time now that I'm going to write a book and it's going to be called my mother's saying of the day.  So, I thought I would share with you guys and maybe share in my laughter.  I don't see her every day, but when I do I'll post up the "jem" of the day.  Here are a few of my all time favorites to get you guys started:
"Birds are great, until they shit on your car."
Said to a 6 yr old that is bothering her in a restaraunt: "Go tell your mother she's calling you!"
Said to me and my brother (neither of which are jewish): "There are no bar mitzvah's in this house!!"
"I HEARD THAT!!  What did you say?"
Her:"Where are my damn glasses??"  Me:"Which pair?  Your wearing 2!"
My all time favorite so far is this said to a female passenger in a car being driven by a male: "HEY, YOUR FUCKING AN IDIOT!!!!!"
I hope this brings as much joy to you guys as it does me.  I'll let you know when there are more! 
  