Am I being an ass??

Post by **mr tibbs** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:08 pm

Stick with me here, this could get a little long winded.

I'm getting married in a week and I have decided not to invite one of my aunts (mom's sister) and here is my reasoning:

About 5 or 6 years ago on Christmas day I was approached by my aunt and uncle at my grandma's house. At the time I had a mormon girlfriend, and I was stupid, and I didn't dare say what I felt around her. My aunt and uncle cornered me and said ex to give (push on me) a book of mormon. They knew I wouldn't say anything at the time because said ex was there, but really it started a war (kinda feud) between their family and mine. My dad went to their house the next day and let the know exactly where we sit with the religion topic and we thought that would be that.

Well, of course these assholes can't just let things sit so they keep sticking their nose where it does not belong. So, know with my wedding coming up they are asking around as to why they did not get an invite. My mother was trying to play diplomat, but finally asked me to call her up and explain myself. I did, and I was actually pretty damn polite for me, but something tells me this is still not over. I would bet that they still show up even though I told them flat out that they were not invited.

Anywho, is this an [censored] move on my part? I figure this is my time and I want people around me who are supportive and are actually happy for me! Opinions?

Post by **Wakeup** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:08 pm

Hey man...this is YOUR day, not your Aunts or Uncles. This is your Fience's Day not theirs. I would tell your aunt and Uncle or at least your Aunt or whoever has been pushing or hurting you or your family that those are your reasonings. I did not get any support from you in the past, nor do I ask for it now. Tell them you dont need them to come they are not welcome and that you do not want anything from them. Tell them that you have been hurt by them in the past and you wish not to feel those feelings again, and sorry that it has to be this way, but that is the way it is.

Again it is your special day, you should enjoy it with those you feel connected with and are special to you and your close ones. Otherwise they need not stand by you on your wedding day.

And if they show up, then let it be unfortunately you really can't do a whole lot except to ask that they leave...which of course makes it hard on you on this day or the rest of the family. (other aunts uncles cousins grandma grandpa etc etc etc...)

Is your immediate family mormon? (Mom dad? sister?) Just curious....
And would any one else in the family be upset if your aunt and uncle cant come or arent going to be able to? Because that may hinder your situation more as well. So you may have to be prepared for questions and comments from the rest of your family as well. Sooooo...good luck...I do not wish this on you...that is hard!

Post by **mr tibbs** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:32 pm

Actually my immediate family is not religious at all (Mom, dad, and brother), but my mom's side of the family is very religious (mormon). As me and my brother were growing up we were always free to believe whatever we wanted. My parents put no restrictions on us at all in that sense. I have looked into the LDS church, but it's just not for me. My mom's side of the family just can't let that go. They simply must convert us no matter what it takes.

The real funny thing is that when I was explaining myself to her she kept saying that she feels sorry for me because I can't forgive her for what has happened in the past. Like it's my damn fault these wackos can't leave me be! Also, she said that she has nothing but love for me and my soon to be wifey (she doesn't even know her name!), even though she has no idea who either of us are. I'm just hoping they keep their distance, we'll see........

Post by **fuzzysnuggleduck** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:55 pm

You're getting married for you. If they weren't invited for WHATEVER reason, they aren't welcome. End of story.

andy600rr · Post by **andy600rr** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:06 pm

100% agree with Wakeup and fuzzy. It's YOUR WEDDING.

At the end of the day, even if they show up uninvited to the event, make sure that everone else there knows that they were NOT invited guests and they are the ones who'll end up looking like a$$e$.

You won't be judged on who you do and don't invite to your wedding by the people who REALLY love you.

Post by **Rold Gold** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:22 am

I feel yer pain Tibbs............. My father-in-law is a bishiop in the LDS church.....

He'll never admit to sending them but while we were living in sin for a couple years before we got hitched, missionaries used to show up like twice a week....

I just started letting them in for entertainment while we were baked.

Until this one pair spent the whole day(like 4 hours) at my house playing video games and watching us blaze in the same room. Every now and then we still get an invitation to come and see the church.

It got to the point where I had to go DEEBO on their ass' and repesent. It made me feel like a bad person initially but ya gotta fight for yer right to party yer own way.

HoseHead · Post by **HoseHead** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:47 am

Why the fuck are you getting married at all???

Really piss off Auntie and live in sin.

itchnertamatoa · Post by **itchnertamatoa** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:31 am

Hey Tibbs
as everyone said, it's YOUR day
have fun and enjoy every moment of it

f

k you get to invite and not invite whoever you see fit, end of story

congrats BTW

Post by **mr tibbs** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:22 pm

Thanks guys, I was sure I was doing the right thing, but like I said it's a little harder when it's family. Meh, they will get over it, or not either way I'm fine with it.

Post by **Rold Gold** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:40 pm

When I got married, only my uncle Ben and my mom were there for me on my side. I've always known that only my real family would be there for me.

Post by **fuzzysnuggleduck** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:58 pm

I had to tell my mom last out of everyone that I was getting married because she's crazy.

jbondox · Post by **jbondox** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:06 am

well now that you didn't invite them and 3-4 years down the road when you are divorcing... they are going to say they told you so

good luck

Post by **Bfowler** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:01 am

rofl...James...always the compassionate one.

its ok tibbs...in 3-4 years the aunt and uncle will probably be pushing up daises and you wont have to worry about their nay saying

BONG!

Post by **Rold Gold** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:47 am

If they show..............They better bring a the best gift with them.

You should send them a copy of Wedding Crashers on dvd.....