Why I fired my secretary!

[gridracer]

Why I fired my Secretary. (ENJOY

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Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office ,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office ,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office ,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office , Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked..

[itchnertamatoa]

not much else to say really

[Rold Gold]

I knew that was coming.......................


Reminds me of another joke.


A lady and her younger sister were sittng on the couch planning the older sister's wedding when the tobe husband walks in. He asks if there is anything he can help with and his tobe wife says "YES!" I don't have time to finish going over the seating arrangements she tells him and asks if he could swing by her sisters house the next day and go over it with her. The younger sister is VERY attractive and has always flirted with him over the years so needless to say he's always wanted a taste of her. The next day he swings by her house. She answers the door and he walks in.... At that point she says to him "I've always thought you were cute and have seen you looking at me... And now that you are marrying my sister next weekend time is running out. Just one time is all I need to cure my feelings for you. As she turns and walks up the stairs, she takes off her shirt and when she reaches the top she removes her skirt and panties and walks into her bedroom. Almost immediately he turns and walks out the door heading for his car. About 10 steps down the walkway he sees his soon tobe father-in-law and wife walking towards him with tears of joy in their eyes saying "You passed our test and welcome to the family."

Moral of the story.......Always keep your condoms in the car.

[oldskoolmseriesfan]

thanks for the jokes guys, I took a day off school because I feel like a Mac truck has hit me, but these are atleast making me laugh.